Shelley Horner, MA, MFT


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Communication for Relationships

Mindful Parenting

by Shelley Horner, MA, MFT

October 14, 2014

What does this word "Mindful"mean?

The word crops up in books, blogs, and websites! Mindful is the ability to engage our whole brain and whole mind to be fully present in the moment. Mindful means being aware of our thoughts and feelings, and attuned to the people who we are in a relationship with. Attuning emotionally as well as analytically with other people is essential for meaningful relationships. We build closeness and develop neural pathways for love and caring. The      young brain actually changes when it is nourished by attunement from a parent.

Parenting in a mindful way gives your child a rich environment to feel safe     to learn how to regulate their emotions. Practicing reflective listening and speaking is important for those of us who maybe didn't grow up being     attuned to by our  caretakers. We can help our children learn how to      become capable of emotional regulation. This is a crucial skill to  build   success at school, home and the world.

Mindful Meditation is a relaxation process that allows our brain to deeply calm itself and integrate. When the external world seems chaotic, we      become stressed unless we cultivate calm through techniques such as   Mindful Meditation.

Mindful parenting is the best hope for the new generations. The evolution        of human kind is through empathetic parenting! Parents who help their children develop the whole brain - emotionally, socially, and  analytically --  are the key to success!

For more information, please call me (818) 345-8022 and look at the     schedule of classes on the website.


Listening To Yourself and Others

The ability to listen to our own feelings as well as someone else's is essential for positive communication. How many of us don't attend properly to our own feelings and then suffer from physical complaints such as headaches or stomach aches? To acknowledge and positively direct ourselves to solve problems that hurt us is crucial to self-worth. When we can attend to our own feelings well, we are ready to listen to others. Being able to empathize and show we understand another's perspective enables others to feel truly and deeply connected. This is what is meant by having good intrapersonal and interpersonal communication.

Some theorists suggest that there are actually seven kinds of intelligence that include intrapersonal as well as interpersonal intelligence. When you are capable in these two areas. your life is usually happier. To increase your ability to listen to yourself, keep a record of how you feel and what you automatically think. especially when you feel angry or hurt emotionally. You may notice after a while that you say the same things to yourself over and over again such as “I’m not good enough” or “I’m not adequate.” Once you are aware of how you interpret communication inappropriately, you can gently steer yourself to respond positively and more accurately to situations that were previously distressing in some way. This may improve your relationships significantly!!

In the next opinion update I will offer more ways to improve interpersonal communication including how to express yourself assertively!
Bye for now!

Shelley Horner, MA, MFT
License #MFT 33592
22231 Mulholland Hwy., #213
Calabasas, CA 91302
(818) 345-8022